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If you could see, inside of me,
There is a hole, of want and need,
Like a cut on skin, I bleed within,
My protective shell, is wearing thin,

I hide away, my hopes and dreams,
I fear my mind, will burst with seams,
Only few, I must confess,
Have held my head, upon their breast,

Be still this space, deep in me,
I wish you here, in hour of need,
Take my hand, or hold me tight,
Dispel the tears, in dead of night,

But alone I am, as I write,
No one here, to share the fight,
I wipe my eyes, upon the sheet,
And lie here still, but not in sleep.
Creative Commons License
Some rights reserved. This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
:iconmaggot34:

Author's Comments

A new one for you.... enjoy :)

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 1 1 fear 0 0 neutral 1 1
:iconflutterings:
A beautiful poem, my only critique is that this line

My protective shell, is wearing thin,

I dont feel it should have a comma. x

--
www.kathrynjeanes.com
[link]
[link]
[link]
:iconmaggot34:
Ok. Will amend shortly. :)
:iconflutterings:
Thats the thing about critique, you can always ignore it. :giggle:

--
www.kathrynjeanes.com
[link]
[link]
[link]
:iconmaggot34:
Just re-read it. I think it works with the comma. I usually read all my work out aloud as i write and it keeps the flow. So i'm not changing a thing. Blah... ;)
:icontuttlebird:
I absolutely love the last two lines, the perfect ending.

--
She said that it’s we who are rushing passed the wind
and that the sky is really below our feet

{ makes it easier to reach for the stars I guess }
:icondarkdevilzaria:
Aww that's such a sad poem :( But very good and emotional

--
"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was."
~:rose: Unknown :blackrose:
:iconmaggot34:
:bow: I'm glad you enjoyed it :work:

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June 24
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